"I have lupus."
"Uh wha?"
"Long explanation of lupus."
Acceptable responses:
1) "Dude you are a wreck." (my personal preference)
2) (If you have the need to be sympathetic) "Aw I'm sorry. My aunt has that. It sucks."
Unacceptable responses:
1) "Oh my god. I am SO sorry. Oh man. But you're so young. That's just terrible. I'm so sorry. I mean, that's horrible - you're like, what, twenty? That's so unfair. Are you okay? It just sounds awful" with a teary look in your eyes.
While I do not want to speak for all lupies, I want to say for myself that I have plenty of guilt for worrying my family and friends and I really, really, REALLY do not need to feel as though I have just torn your heart apart. What's more, I have no way to react to that except to kind of smile, shrug, and say "oh it's fine, really." Yick.
One other thing: If you are, say, a dentist, and a lupie has just given you her medical history, and she happens to not be on meds, the best response is NOT "I'm sorry to hear you have lupus - but you've never exhibited any symptoms, right?" First of all, look at all the boxes I've checked for "things I have/have had" and second of all, whoa, way to cut me off at the knees.
Basically what I'm trying to say is that the dentist's office failed my reaction test. I had the practically-crying nurse (? the dentist equivelant of?) followed by the your-disease-is-just-a-concept-without-reality dentist.
We call those dental hygienists, and they're rarely good at anything other than looking at your mouth. I've encountered a few sickeningly sweet ones in my time, and I can't imagine getting that reaction from them. Such an uncomfortable position. Maybe if you combined her with the dentist, they'd balance out to an acceptable response?
ReplyDeleteI do not think she was a hygienist because all she did was take x-rays and coo over my immune system. Someone else, who was much more bearable, cleaned my teeth.
ReplyDelete